Ha. How I yearn to let my eyelids fall and cover my eyeballs.
And never let them open again.
Glue my lashes onto my skin.
Dont wanna see the world right now.
These few days have been worse than Hell for me.
I`m telling you it`s damn difficult and frustrating to lead my life now. It`s been so torturous, I don`t even know who I am, what to make out of myself.
I`m not trying to get emo here but I`m just, really perplexed.
It`s not as if I want things to function the way it is now but I`ve got no other choice. I thought that this was the best way out but.
But. See, seems like the word 'but' is engraved onto my life forever.
Yeah anyway back to the point. I thought that it would be easy trying to pretend but apparently that`s crap lah. Smart, Hannah, you`re so smart. I think I`m like, committing suicide by doing this lah.
Yet again, what else can I do?Tried to laugh my day off today.
For a moment or two I thought it had worked.
But just so I thought.
Ended up going up the lift with that same, painful look.
You know sometimes you can`t just undo something. It`s not like I can hit the backspace now.
Blunder.Much as I made myself promise myself not to let these stuff bother me, I can`t.
Don`t wanna pretend no more.
It leaves scars behind.
Many scars.
I feel so pathetic now, I dont know if I should laugh or cry.
Junhong, happy 15th birthday.